Chillax!

Oh, it's been so long since I've posted and there's no time to catch you up properly, but I will I promise. New York was fantastic. The shows after New York here in SoCal were also wonderful. Just a quick post to say, yes, it's hectic, but it WILL all get done. Take some time to chillax. Look, even Mary and Joseph and few sheep are taking a break by some sound equipment at my last gig. If they can take a breather, so can you. Keep me afloat for my flight to Chicago on Xmas Eve. They're expecting bad weather. Well, at least Dean will be with me. If they allowed folding chairs on the wings, he would sit in one. That guy loves to fly. More to come, I promise!

Life is Bumpy. Get over it.

This is what Dean just texted me, when I reported to him that Mom landed safely in Newark but said the flight was bumpy. This is why I love him so much. He will do anything to reduce my fear of flying, and this is the exact right approach: don't indulge the crazy! I hate flying. I hate when my loved ones fly. Tomorrow I'm taking a redeye, which is a bummer, cause number one, it's supposed to be windy as hell the whole time, and number two, even under the best conditions, I can't sleep. Gotta be on my game, in case the pilot needs me. Airport '75 anyone?

But people, I'm off to NYC tomorrow night to do two shows of the Christmas show I'm in. My first NYC credits! So I gotta fly. There'll be a good tail wind, but good God, that's gonna be bumpy as we get closer to landing.

That said, I downloaded Virgin Atlantic's Flying Without Fear app on my iPhone. Hopefully, I can stay online the whole time on my iPhone. WiFi on airplanes - who knew? The lovely thing about iPhones is, you can turn it to Flight Mode, but you can keep your WiFi on, so no one can call you or text you but you can surf the 'net to your heart's content. Love that little machine.

Anyway, Dad always said, if you make it to NYC, we'll hire a bus and come see you. But Mom coming on her flight is the next best thing. Dad would have gone too, if he were still with us.

So, THANK you, Kenosha bus driver and 294 tollway and O'Hare and American Airlines and Newark airport for cooperating and getting Mom there. My aunt, Mom's sister, has tied her do-rag on for the duration of this visit - she will be responsible for All Things Mom for the duration of her trip. They come to the city to see me on Saturday night. I'll be nominating her for Stage 1 of Canonization directly afterwards.

You'll see plennya NYC pix, believe me.

But first I gotta make it there.....

The Drummer Chronicles, Part 2

Is there anything more precious than a sleeping baby? For me, there is: an animal who actually shows some initiative and gets off its lazy butt and finds itself a damn job. Animals are expensive! Even visiting ones. I love how Drummer's eyes kinda go away when he sleeps. It's like: eyeless wonder cat. When I was in the shower, I heard a curious sound. When I came out, Drummer was looking for a job online. I'm telling you that cat has it all. I don't think THUG WANTED is anywhere on craigslist, but hey you can't blame homeboy for tryin'.

Stage.

I've written this before: is there anything better than an empty stage, waiting to be performed on? I don't think so. Here are a few shots from this past weekend's show. It's hard to tell, but they had this place Christmassed out of its mind, and it looked fantastic all lit up when the set was in place. But my favorite time is always the time before: just me, my temple, my altar, my private moment. I feel perfectly at peace, at one with something BIGGER when I'm standing on an empty stage in a theatre that I will soon be performing in. It's a holy place, that.

Crisis Averted!

If you have not seen the Pioneer Woman's blog, now's the time. http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/.

Just so much fun. I've started trying out her recipes. Occasionally, she posts recipes from a friend of hers, Pastor Ryan. Today, I decided to make Pastor Ryan's Monkey Bread. People, please take note: do not make this in a leaky Bundt pan. I had a smoky kitchen in about 45 seconds. I'm now going to have to clean my oven like nobody's business because of this.

That said, I transferred everything to a large glass baking dish, ran over to my landlord's kitchen and it still turned out delicious. AntiquesMan, aka Dean, has asked me not to call him the Boyf anymore, so Dean it is. I'm hoping Dean likes this a lot. Even I tried a little and I don't really like cinnamony sweet stuff this early in the morning. It's really delicious, like a hot puffy snickerdoodle.

This is the time of year we eat stuff we don't normally eat, so even though I wish MY house smelled like a Cinnabon stand instead of my landlord's, just letting it cool in my kitchen is enough to stink up the joint. But in a good way!

Christmas tree closeup is from work. It's the only tree I put up, believe me. Like my kitchen tile? My pal did it. I gotta get Christmassy here, cause I have another show tonight, which, like this recipe, is a gift.

Pastor Ryan's Monkey Bread (with thanks to Ree!)

Preheat the oven to 350

Use either a big glass thing like mine, or a Bundt pan that does NOT have a removable bottom

Don't bother greasing either one

3 tubes of Pillsbury (I used Albertson's brand - Jewel for you Midwestern folks) Buttermilk bisquits, NOT the flaky kind

1 cup sugar

3 tsp. cinnamon

2 sticks of butter, melted

1/2 cup brown sugar

Put sugar and cinnamon in a giant ziplock. Mix well. Pop open the cans of bisquits and cut each one into four. Put these doughballs in the bag and coat. Yes I said doughballs, be mature.

Melt the butter and the brown sugar until all one color

Put the doughballs in your baking dish/pan. Stop that giggling. Pour butter over.

Bake for 40 minutes.

Work out like a fiend afterwards.

The Drummer Chronicles, Part One

I know I've posted about this cat ad nauseum on Facebook, but not everyone I know is on Facebook, so here's some more Drummer for you. For those of you who don't know, Drummer is my neighbor's cat. He really is more like a dog - he really is more like the late great Benny, my beloved black and white Jack Russell Terrier. More on him in a separate post. Anyway, it's time you met Drummer. He comes over a lot in the wintertime. He usually has a morning snooze and then I put him out. Today, he came by and looked at me balefully. I was sitting in his chair. As soon as I got up, he popped up and had a little snooze. Then he had an asthma attack. Pretty standard morning for him. Then, he cleaned himself. Then he went outside to kick some ass. He's pretty much a thug in our 'hood. He likes to hang out in the street, like a punk-ass. The FedEx and the UPS guys all love him. They recognize a kindred spirit, a brother. Then, he spends the day reconnoitering and muscling his way around the various yards. He kicks ass and takes names. Possums, squirrels, rabbits, birds, other cats. Fuhgettaboutit. It's Drummer's world, and we all just visit it. Love that cat.

Busted.

Sometimes you see the weirdest things in LA. Look at this guy's car scenter thingy. I mean, who hangs that in their car? Only in LA. The funny thing is, as I was taking this picture in the Trader Joe's parking lot, the car owner totally busted me. He literally appeared from out of nowhere "Oh, so you like my air freshener, huh?" "It's cool!" I said, but what I really wanted to say was: freak. Then I ran into the store. It still makes a great picture. Not that I want this blog to be that kind of a website. I mean, now what, cocktail weenies and Pillsbury dough wrap recipes? No. Besides, you already know how to make those. Be sure and have plenty of hot mustard and please use kosher beef weenies. Those are the best.

The Venice Canals

I've been to Venice, Italy and Venice, California. Don't get me wrong, every single part of Italy is fantastic. But for California, one of the prettiest places in Los Angeles is the Venice Canals. There used to be tons of them, but now there are only six. I am very fortunate to live near them. The boyf and I walk them at least once every two months. You can never really see the same thing twice. There are also canals in Naples, CA, but they are big and overbearing and just too much. These pictures, taken with both an old and a new cell phone, don't really do the Venice ones justice. The topiary, the architecture, it's just incredible there. I'll go there with my regular camera and take some real pictures for you. Look, one guy even built himself a lap pool! The boyf says that furniture is sorta famous. At Christmas (see? there's that word again) they wrap the cross bridges and people put lights on the palm trees and all the lights on the houses and the little boats reflect in the brackish water. Everyone seems to have a canoe or a kayak, but you hardly see anyone rowing. There's even a little Canal Christmas Parade, which we miss every year. People like Anjelica Huston have houses on the canals. Someday, it would be nice to have one there too. I'm sure she's an excellent neighbor.